five fingers

i wonder about the structure of songs much more than i used to, but strangely enough i don't think that thinking has really made my own songwriting any better. Actually it may have made it harder. I guess the more structures i discover the more choices i see i have. Picking a path that isn't arbitrary can be a problem so i tend to do alot of experimentation. It's frustrating though because i could work for weeks or longer on one part of a song only to throw away almost all of it. It's good trashed ideas don't clutter up the room. my hands and voice are rusty too. these days it's a bit easier for me to connect emotionally to my own music even if it's still considerably obscured. daaaa.

my sleep has been restless (contrasted to peaceful days with the RELady). I keep having dreams where I've neglected some academic/legal/business obligation. Like a few days ago i had a dream i was in a thermodynamics class and forgot to go to pay attention all semester and forgot to hand in the bulk of my work. I'll take it as residual finals stress. now onto re-habit running.