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I'm going to try and get in the habit of not thinking about what i write too much.

i just read a sentence on wiki that says some theorist guy thinks that all criticism is self criticism.

people at home tend to constantly bring up whats wrong with the day. maybe i just hate opinions or something. i'm coming to realize what i judge most is other people's judgement. my expression of this is itself my criticism. becuase i would hate anyone to feel that feeling of judgement if they are in need of opinion expression. i wonder if it's a language issue becuase when i feel the urge to blame or find fault in non-constructive ways it's frustration or anger but the words are misguided they aren't what i'm feeling it's just some construction, like a sketch. and for some reason i dislike that. i'm very envious of people who really connect to the words they say. verbal power!!! ya! ummm maybe i'm just an academic problem solver who in times with no problems to solve looks inward to better explain what's going on. And i guess my fear is that i dislike how people work. i'm afraid that i hate being home because i feel like i can't be myself. The most powerful idea that i've come to realize this year is that things can change. our brains are capable of knowing new things, being reshaped, and that life is a wonderful and unknown. and i don't know maybe i'm just so fortunate in my life that i'm able to think this. i just don't want people to be needlessly unhappy.

black keys album tuesday YA!